Yesterday marked a milestone in my life. I traded my art for something. In this case I traded a drawing I made a few years ago for a huge discount on framing a couple of pieces of art for an upcoming show in October. Tge drawing is of a young woman tied up in a dongeon. Look below:
Big, huge shoutout to Cardinal Frame & Art who I have used since 2019 to frame all my drawings. Jennifer does an excellent job and I highly recommend supporting her business, escpecially since she is willing to help out psycho artists like myself.
Also, I have finally completed the second issue of my zine, Heavy Metal. I have made 100 prints and they are ready to be distributed and sold. If you are interested in a copy, please email me at therealkolit@gmail.com and I will be happy to work something out with you.
2 Sept 2025
The physical withdrawals seem to have passed. Now, it's a phsycological and social battle with myself: overcoming the urges and cravings, identifying my triggers and choosing healthy coping mechanisms.
My dreams have grown intense and strange (like, way stranger than what I've dreamt). One in particular was especially horrible. Now my dreams aren't so horrible or nightmarish. The strangeness and vividness of the dreams is still pretty high. But that's okay with me.
As for the healthy coping mechanisms, they've been treating me well. At first not, but now yes. The main thing that I seem to have latched onto is studying to obtain a amateur radio operator license, otherwise known as a HAM radio license. It's technical, esoteric, and just about antiquated. I like that.
25 Aug 2025
Sup, y'all. Have you ever dealt with addiction?
24 Aug 2025
Those Withdrawals Tho
The journey continues. The withdrawal symptoms are real: Insomnia, shitty appetite, irritability and aggression. Oh... also the sweats and shakes. I was a heavy, heavy user, smoked scores of times per day, from the moment I wake to the minutes right before I sleep. Anyway, fuck it. I'm determined and committed and it's happening. It's already done. It can't be stopped. :)
22 Aug 2025
Quitting Weed
It's been almost 22 hours since the last time I smoked weed, which is the longest period of time I've gone without smoking weed for... I can't remember how long. So far, I think I'm gonna have to focus on succesfully getting past the physical withdrawal after stopping smoking weed. As much as I think the next couple of weeks will suck, I believe that when I get passed these withdrawal symptoms, I will be free and happy.
One of the main reasons I have for quiting has to do with my pocketbook. If I quit smoking weed, then that means I will stop buying it, and then I will have hundreds of dollars a month extra than I do now. Money is tight, work is slow, and things are getting expensive to buy, so I need figured the best way to mitigate the pain of the current economy would be to quit smoking weed and save myself thousands of dolars a year.
In recent years, I've noticed myself setting priorities to pack weed for long trips or risk getting in trouble with the law by bringing it into airports and flying with it. I always felt paranoid about that, yet I always acted against my better judgement. Thank God I haven't gotten arrested yet for something stupid like that. And that brings me to another reason for quitting weed: freedom. Now that I have decided to exclude weed from my daily rituals, I will be free from these paranoid feelings that hang over my head and free from any concern about how I can smuggle weed here or there without getting caught. It's exhausting to keep that up and probably takes a toll on the mind and body.
From left to right: Yura, Jun, Me.
The photo above is from a tour I was on a couple of years ago. You can see that I am the only one drinking and I got a joint in my hand. I was the wildest and most intoxicated of the crew. I always showed up, I always did a good job, but I felt like shit daily. I was drinking, and smoking heavily. I was also addicted to nicotine at the time, too, so I was also vaping like a madman. Tours were always the most fun, yet the worst for my health.
18 Aug 2025
I'm just about done with the second issue of Heavy Metal, a little tiny zine I started. Below is a scan of the front cover and after it is a preview of what's on the inside.
Besides this, I have been feeling a bit stagnated. I'm not gonna lie. A lot of that has to do with money. It seems like every time I leave my house, I end up spending money on something. So as a way of saving money I have been staying home a lot. This could also have something to do with why I am feeling like I am hitting a wall.
Take the zine for example. Were it not for money constraints, I could have already found a place to print a shit-load of copies. But I can't do that because I'm not free to spend money on the zine right now, so it just sits on my desk, Every day I don't go to print this thing off feels kind of like an opportunity dwindling away or something.
13 Aug 2025
The last post was a lie. There's more than five projects. I forgot to mention one, which I completed today. Check it out:
The project was to add hinges to the table top. And now that that task is completed, I can do two things: 1) open up the top for easy access to things under the table top, and 2) use the slanted table top as a surface as one would a drafting table.
There is still another part left in this project, which is to devise some kind of doo-hickee to keep the table open at any angle or even increments would be fine, too. So I can't really use the table like a drafting table yet.
Soon...
12 Aug 2025
I have been rotating five major projects:
Finishing a painting/collage I have been working on.
Building a corner table for the kitchen.
Studying to obtain Amateur Class HAM radio lisence.
Printing the second issue of my zine.
Building this website.
Each step towards the completion of just one of these projects requires time, sometimes a lot of time. As it stands right now, I can only work on about two projects at a time per day with one being the main focus of energy while other kinda just sits there to get dabbled on. I can only really focus my energy on one thing at a time.
Anyway, I've been banging out these projects by little and little. That grind if finally starting to pay off, because I am just about ready to make some prints of the second issue of my zine.
Thank you for visiting my personal website.And thank NeoCities for providing such an awesome platform for people like you and me to build websites.
